pleasant pleasure

I was still way asleep. These nostrils smelled something good. I started to wake a little.

“Rise and shine, MJ! I’m preparing our breakfast,” called a voice I haven’t heard for a while yet familiar. I got up and went to the kitchen lazily. I sat on the counter, pouring myself a glass of water. Breakfast? Who’s cooking breakfast? I live by myself in this studio apartment. This smell, oh my……could this be? I ran to the kitchen and hug him tightly.

“Hankyung oppa! What are you doing here? How did you get in? Where have you been? Aigoo, I miss you so much! How’s things going so far? You never answered my calls nor my messages!” Hankyung looked much better than back when we last met after he got back from Thailand for Super Show 2.

“Easy there, kiddo,” he messed my hair, “I’ve been fine. Just resting for a while. How are you with Siwon? And the boys?” he smiled ever so lightly. I noticed he was cooking beijing fried rice for breakfast.

“We’re also doing good, but it’d be better if you can join us… We’ve been missing you so terribly… Tell me everything I missed,” we walked back to the counter to eat breakfast, “I even missed your cooking!”

“I miss you guys too, a lot. But it’s best for me to not be in contact with you guys. I wanted the boys to continue without worrying so much about me. Mianhae, Jinnie… Many things happened in the past months but none was special enough to keep so I already forgot. Just a simple daily routine,” he waved his hand.

“I see… Why are you here? Do they know about you being here? I mean, did you tell anyone? Let’s invite them to come over and we’ll catch up about each other!” joy and excitement filled me. I reached for my phone and started pressing Siwonn’s number. But Hankyung’s hand took my phone,

“Don’t. They musn’t know I’m here, Jinnie. I was supposed to be here tomorrow, for Siwon’s birthday. But I couldn’t wait any longer to be in Seoul. So I went here first to see you before meeting those goofballs tomorrow, hahaha” he laughed, lost in thought of memories with the boys. It has been only almost 2 months he’d been away but still so much are missing from each other.

“Omo! Today’s your birthday, right? I’ve prepared a present for you, wait here!” I jumped out from my chair and rushed to get my gift for the China man.

He was looking at my framed photos on the piano. Photos of me and Siwon together, many of them. In the Olympic Park (when shooting S.E.O.U.L. music video), at Sungmin’s birthday dinner, at the airport for their Japan departure, and many others.

“Saengil chukha hamnida, Hankyung oppa! I’m sorry this is all I can prepare for your birthday,” I gave him the present and a tight hug once again. I could tell he must be lonely, in his late 20s without any woman by his side. I feel bad for him, You’ll find your lady one day, oppa. The one and only that was born to love you dearly..

“Myungjin, no need to be sorry. I’m already happy just to see you. Kamsahae,” he smiled widely, released my hug slowly,”Why don’t you get dressed and we go out for a walk? We’ll talk about tomorrow’s surprise plan, not only for Siwon but also the boys. Shall we?”

“I’ll be right back!” I said, looking forward to what this Tuesday would turn out. ~

still to be continued

I had plans. From A to Z. Well, not that many actually. But I imagined all sort of things that I’d do on Siwon’s birthday, which was two days away and I still couldn’t decide which plan should I go with. I called Heechul for ideas and he came up with many freaky ways to surprise Siwon. I was so excited! So excited that I still coulnd’t decide -.- My head was full of these thoughts I didn’t even notice where I was driving to. The road seemed familiar heading to SHINee’s dorm. I called my cousin, Key, that I was gonna come over in a couple of minutes.

“Ah, we’re not home now Noona, we’re filming Hello Baby in Buk Chon Han Ok village. I’ll call you when you when we’re done today.” he said. I could hear Yoogeun’s cheerful voice right over there.

“Well I need you, Kibum, so let me know immediately..” then I hung up.

I called Heechul again and make sure Siwon isn’t with them (other SJ members) in their apartment so I could come over. On my way, I stopped at a restaurant and bought the boys foods for dinner.

Donghae opened the door and greeted me cheerfully, “Myungjin, annyeong!” This kiddo always brighten up my day. Eunhyuk was tagging along behind him. FYI, only my family and Siwon who address me as Rechelle, my real name. Others called me Myungjin, my Korean name.

“Dinner is here!” Hyuk shouted to his hyungs and dongsaengs as he took the foods from my hands. Kyu and Heechul were busy gaming in the living room, Shindong and Kangin were goofing around with Leeteuk. Yesung was singing while Sungmin played the guitar.

“You should’ve told me that you’re buying us dinner so I don’t have to cook, but I already did…” SJ’s best cook, Ryeowook, came from the kitchen.

“I told Heechul hyung to tell you guys that I’m coming over with dinner,” I said it louder so Heechul could hear.

“Ya, Jinnie! I’m busy defeating Kyu here, can’t you see?” Heechul laughed.

“Look at the score, hyung! I’m winning!” Kyu cheered. These boys looked so adorable at home, different from who they were on stage, leaving all the idol images.

“Let’s eat! Let’s eat! Let’s eat!” Hae and Hyuk prepared the dishes on the table excitedly, they all soon gathered around and enjoyed dinner together.

Three members were absent beside Siwon. I didn’t know where Hankyung was, I’d like to visit him but he never answered my phone calls nor my text messages. Maybe other hyungs knew where he’s at but I thought this was a sensitive issue to be talked about so I kept my thought alone. Kibum must be busy with his personal schedule since he was also an actor, but I missed him so much. We rarely meet not just because his tight schedule, he didn’t live here in the apartment that made us even harder to meet.

The one I missed the most was Kangin. I missed every thing about him. He wasn’t the closest hyung, but I miss him. Thirteen of ‘em are the whole package, one missing was pain already and now three? I felt empty, Siwon felt the same too I’m sure. I hope the missing trio could make it to join and celebrate the horse’s birthday.

“MJ, your man’s birthday is only 2 days away and you haven’t tell us the plan yet. So what is it?” Shindong asked, every one stopped their own little chat and focused on me.

“Hey, no need to look at me like that. The truth is I don’t have any plan ready. Well, I mean I have lots of them in my mind, too many of them I can’t decide which! Heechul hyung have an idea,” I let Heechul spill out his idea.

Heechul talked eagerly and the members were listening carefully. Some agreed directly, some added a few points of pranks, ideas kept flowing in. They all got too excited the noise were unbearable. I jumped into their conversation for a few times. I suddenly remembered, hat the next day was Hankyung’s birthday.

“Hyung, tomorrow is Hankyung hyung birthday right? Aren’t we goint to celebrate him too or something?” I heard myself saying. Silence fell in quickly, my hands shut my mouth immediately. Guilt was all over me. What a stupid question! I should’ve keep it to myself, or ask Siwon instead. This is all my fault, I ruined the joyful evening atmosphere.

Leader Teuk, who was sitting on my left, comforted me. “Yes, we should celebrate but too bad we couldn’t reach him. Our management won’t tell us where is his current residence either,”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. I… I just missed him and wanted to meet him. His birthday is also near, it’s unfair to just celebrate Siwon’s……” I kept my head down.

“Don’t be like that, we all feel the same. We missed him, but there’s nothing we can do about it for now,” Heechul added.

“Let’s just continue discussing our plan for Horsie, shall we? And if you’re done with that, I’m gonna finish it..” Shindong broke the ice and ate up all my leftover dishes. They resumed the conversation like nothing had happened. That’s when my phone rang, I excused for a moment.

On the screen it said ‘KEY’, I answered it. I started to cry when Key said hello. Heard me crying, he said “I’m going to wait and listen to you crying, then when you’re done you can tell me what happened. I’m all ears,”
~

to be continued

Up above us is the clear blue sky. What a perfect day to spend with your favorite man on earth. Even with only  a cup of coffee and a plate of chocolate cookies that I made just for us. Sitting next to him on the swing in the backyard of his crib. I could only hear wind blowing pass us.

It’s been quite a while since the last time we actually spend the whole weekend just the two of us. He promised me this weekend will be different. Deep in our own thoughts, neither him nor me speak a word. None of us dare to ruin the beauty of this silent moment.

“Your big day is near,” I broke the silence. He laughed lightly.

“What big day?” pretends to be clueless about what I said and took a sip of coffee carelessly then it spilled on is shirt.

“C’mon Siwonnie, you know what I mean,” I couldn’t restrain my laughter seeing him tried to clean his shirt with tissue paper, “in fact, you know exactly what I mean.”

“Ah, why are you laughing? Help me with this, please dear…” he looked at me making cute expression. He really knew how to get my attention. The cute faces he made never fail.

“Take off your shirt, I’ll get you a clean one. Okay?” I got up to my feet and he looked at me as if I’d be gone somewhere far away. “It won’t take that long…”

I knew that he missed me already so I hurried to get his clean shirt. But I didn’t go straight back. His bedroom was upstairs and from the balcony you could see the backyard. When I opened the balcony door, wind blowed swiftly and brushed my cheeks. I remembered how delicate it is when he brushed my cheeks with his palms.

“Ya! Siwonnie! Which color do you want to wear?” I shouted, “Bright white or broken white?” Holding up both t-shirts in my hands. He raised his eyebrows, got up from the chair and walked towards the balcony.

“I want black instead, please?” I’ve seen his naked upper body many times but it still shocked me. Those abs, just amazing how he could be so maximumly handsome and kind. Just perfect. “Chelle? I said I want to wear black,” he repeated.

“Mm.. Black? But dear it’s a nice day, you should wear white. This one, perhaps?” raising the broken white T-shirt higher. He nodded then I tossed the T-shirt to him.

“Now you come back down here quickly, dear. Or I’m coming to get you!” he caught the shirt and smirked as he spoke. His dimples appear, make me just wanna run into his hug.

I planted images in my head of what will happen on his birthday. Don’t worry dearest Horse, it’ll be the best day of your life ♥

Once I arrived at school, the field was filled with such noise of excitement from all students of grade 9 who were about to go for a school trip. The first person that I tried to spot was you. Yes, you! Who else? The most perfect guy with perfect bodyline, perfect smile, perfect height, perfect weight, perfect teeth, perfect face, perfect grades, perfect attitude. A perfect man to love. But you were nowhere insight, so I went to look for my bestfriend instead, Meg.

She was talking to someone but could only see the back of that person. And OH MY GOD, THAT PERSON WAS YOU. Meg saw me so she called me to hurry. Right that moment, you left without even noticing I was there near you. Don’t want to know what conversation they just had so I started talking about something else with Meg. She was full of smile that morning, never seen her like that before. Maybe something good happened between you and Meg? How could she betray her own bestfriend? It’s not like you were my boyfriend or what, Meg knew I fell in love with you even you didn’t know. Well, I didn’t want to have any negative thoughts to began a school trip, so I put it aside.

We stopped in a few places to learn about them, took pictures, and wrote some notes for the report. That’s not my point. That day was exceptionally sunny, wind blowed to keep us comfort through the trip. You always like nice weathers. Even if I didn’t see you, I knew that you were taking pictures with your expert skill of photography. Wish I was in you pictures.

While Meg still was busy taking notes, I went to buy cokes for both. Unfortunately, the machine didn’t work. I was about to leave and went to get it somewhere else when I heard a kick on the machine and the drinks rolled down to come out. YOU handed it to me and smiled. My favorite smile in the world which I could always see those dimples suits your perfect face everytime. I smiled back shyly. You were so close that I could smell your scent, a very soothing manly scent.

Hands inside the pockets of your dark gray jacket, black jeans, Adidas sport bag hanging on your left shoulder, walking in your white Everlast sneakers (you wore it so often yet still clean). Again I must say, a perfect man to love. Without saying anything, you walked away. I didn’t even get a chance to say thanks. It wasn’t the first time you suddenly appeared to help me with something, but I couldn’t get over the surprised feeling every time it happened.

I ran back to where Meg was and quickly told her what had just happened. She laughed and smiled like I saw earlier that morning. I’m lost in confusion again but didn’t ask her to explain.

It was finally lunch time.

The restaurant was filled with my schoolmates, however I sat apart from Meg and joined other friends. I secretly looked for you in other tables but I couldn’t find. I had my ramen eaten in no time. My friends were chatting and laughing hard when suddenly they became all quiet and stared at something behind me.

“Why so quiet all of a sudden?” I asked. They kept staring, so I turned my head. You were standing there smiling a bit awkwardly but still perfectly handsome. Before you got to say anything, I quickly ran to Meg in her table. I put my arms around her for the back so it seemed like I was hugging her.

“What’s happening, Meg? He came to look for me in my table! OMG my heart is beating really fast!!” I put her hand in my chest so she could feel my heart beats. Again, she laughed.

“Calm down, Chelle. I know he must be as nervous as you.. Get back there, he’s waiting you know?” Meg pushed me away and laughed even harder. OK how could I calm myself down if now other students were looking at me and Siwon.

I tried to walked casually towards him, but I ended up stumbled on a chair and fell. Almost fell, cause that’s where you caught me with your strong arms. Everybody still staring and even started cheering for us. OH GOD THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, I screamed in my head. You put your hands on my shoulders and walked me outside the building. I hoped that the vibrations of my heartbeat didn’t reach my shoulder cause it would be really embarrassing. We reached the fish pond beside the restaurant.

Gently, you turned me around facing you. Looking at your perfect face so closely really made me wanna jump around full in excitement. You looked like you were gonna say something important, maybe you were about to confess your love to me? My heart beat so fast, really fast and I’m starting do get dizzy. Soon it was all dark.

~

I fainted? What happened? I tried to open my eyes but it was too heavy. Tried to sit more comfortably from my position now. I could tell that I’m on a bed. Wait. Bed? Maybe Siwon had took me to his home after I fainted? My eyes opened instantly. I saw wooden dressing table in front of the bed and my reflection in the mirror. A familiar feeling rushed through me. Green colored wall, bookshelves, a big portrait of….. wait. This is my bedroom! OH MY OH MY, that was all just a dream! Dream that I wish so true, to become reality. Gosh, perfect dream indeed. My day was just about to begin.

♥

I was standing in the front row of a crowd shouting your name, holding a paper bag filled with something I made specially for you. A wooden puzzle, on each pieces were my name written smally but the puzzle would be completed without the piece with your name on it. But how I’m suppose to gave it, I thought. Should I scream your name and toss it to him as you walked by? Or should I wait a chance to sneak into your dressing room and gave it directly? If I did sneak to your dressing room, I’d be dead by now. It must be guarded with a few huge guys that I can’t deal with so I decided to used the first option.

My ears started to get hurt caused  the noise of your fans was getting louder. And there you were. Astonished by your appearance, dazed by the perfect smile, I began to count the timing to gave my gift to you. It feels like everything in slow motion, I could even hear my heartbeat thumping in my ears and the noise of the screaming fans were gone slowly. I couldn’t repeat what was happening cause it was so fast. I didn’t remember screaming your name. But then all I could see was my puzzles were scattered on the red carpet in front of you, accidentally.

You stopped walking, looked down at my puzzle pieces and picked it up. Still with the perfect smile, you searched the crowd to find whose puzzle was it. As some point you met my eyes and smiled even wider. Undeniably shocked that you really saw me, I just stand still unable to move a muscle while other fans were still screaming and jumping full of excitement. Then you knew it was my puzzle. I felt like being statued there at the moment you walked towards me!

The fans screamed even more loudly but I heard nothing, my eyes were locked on you. As you reach me, you took the paper bag in my hand slowly, without your eyes leaving mine, and put the puzzle pieces in. You said something but I still couldn’t hear anything so I just smiled shyly back at you. Leeteuk tapped your shoulder to remind you about the red carpet. As I left statued, you continued your walk on the red carpet. I could only stare at your back slowly disappeared into the entrance of the hall.

After I watched your Super Junior performance, I went home still very shocked that you really talked to me! OH MY GOD! I flew all the way to Korea just to see you in a close range and hopeful to get a chance to give this puzzle to you, yet I met you in a really close range and you talked to me! What on earth did just happened..

I arrived at my hotel almost midnight. I went straight to my room and sat on the balcony for some fresh air after all the shocked I had that day. Enjoyed the night view of Seoul and wondered what was it that you said back then. I tilted the paper bag so all the pieces fell down, followed by a small piece of paper. A note. But I didn’t write any note for you before. I abruptly picked it up, and it said : “NAMSAN TOWER 1 AM, C.S.”

I knew ‘C.S.’ stands for Choi Siwon, who else could it be? What I didn’t know was when did you write the note? All I remembered was you smiling at me all the time on the red carpet. I don’t care. I looked at my watch, damn it was already 1 AM! The tower is almost 40 minutes away so I hurried down to the hotel lobby and quickly catch a cab.

It was past midnight so the tower park was empty, only white snows falling from the dark sky. My heartbeat thumped quickly again. I was afraid that you’d already left because I was 30 minutes late. How could a superstar like him asked to meet an ordinary girl like me, in a place as beautiful as this Namsan Tower, right after his performance? What a crazy idea if I may say. But I believed it anyway.

I kept looking on every bench, but you were not on any of them. I began to feel like giving up, right at that time someone called my name.

“Rechelle, are you?” a familiar voice went through my ears. I turned to where the voice came from. I could see you were still wearing the same clothes at the red carpet, only now covered with thick black coat. Holding two cups of coffee on your hands, walked towards me. I felt the shock all over my body, again. ‘He called my name? HE CALLED MY NAME??’ was in my head and I just statued there standing, again.

“It’s cold out here, drink this.” he gave me the cup of which he held in his right hand. I receive it and started to get back to my senses. “Let’s sit somewhere warm, shall we?” he took my empty hand and walked me to the stairs of the tower.

“I know you maybe wondering when did I wrote that tiny note. It doesn’t matter. I can see that you are different from any other fans out there,” I stayed silent in confusion of what you meant, and you continued “I like your puzzle, did you make it for me? It’s beautiful, just like you and your name.”

“Kamsahamnida, Siwon sunbae,” was all I could say through the freezing tounge.

You smiled warmly at me and when I smiled back, you smiled even more happily until I could see your dimples. It happened you hadn’t let go of my hand as we sat down by the stairs. At that point, I know this could be the start of something new.

smoochies ♥